Fart Squad Read online

  “Children, children!” Miss Priscilly called out. “Gather round and pay attention, while our host, Professor Paleo, kindly explains the educational value of this site.”

  The elderly museum curator had been conducting the tar pit tour ever since Darren was a little kid. He was a good friend of Darren’s. Frizzy white hair escaped from under the pith helmet he wore. Professor Paleo winked at Darren before launching into his lecture, which Darren practically knew by heart:

  “Millions of years ago, a prehistoric swamp existed where Buttzville now is. Liquid tar seeped up from the earth and created a deceptively deep pool. Dinosaurs and other primitive animals would wander over and some were unlucky enough to fall in it. Unlucky for them, but lucky for us. Their fossils were preserved in the pit when the tar hardened into thick, solid sludge. We’ve extracted many fossils from this site, such as that Buttosaurus skeleton on display over there. It is one of an entire genus of large-butted, vicious flesh-eating dinosaurs. Nobody knows how deep the pit goes, or what else might be trapped down there, preserved forever by the tar. . . .”

  About the Author and Illustrator

  SEAMUS PILGER is an award-winning fartologist and a burrito enthusiast. He first became interested in superfartabilities while studying the alternate forms of propulsion for space travel. While intergalactic gastroenterological propulsion failed, Seamus has made many discoveries in the fermentation of foods in humans. Seamus is a graduate at FRT. He is a lifelong vegetarian and lives on a bean farm in Minnesota.

  STEPHEN GILPIN is the award-winning illustrator of dozens of children’s books and has worked for tons of awesome clients. He lives and works with his wife, Angie, in Hiawatha, Kansas.

  Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.

  Credits

  Cover art © 2015 by Stephen Gilpin

  Design by Victor Joseph Ochoa

  Copyright

  FART SQUAD. Text copyright © 2015 by Full Fathom Five, LLC. Illustrations copyright © 2015 by Full Fathom Five, LLC. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  www.harpercollinschildrens.com

  * * *

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Pilger, Seamus.

  Fart Squad / by Seamus Pilger. — First edition.

  pages cm — (Fart squad ; 1)

  Summary: After their lunches are stolen, Harry Buttz Elementary School students Darren, Tina, Juan-Carlos, and Walter eat radioactive burritos that give each a strange ability—along with serious gas—which, with training by Janitor Stan, may help them foil Number Two and the BO twins’ evil plan.

  ISBN 978-0-06-236631-3 (hardback) — ISBN 978-0-06-229045-8 (pbk.)

  EPub Edition March 2015 ISBN 9780062290465

  [1. Flatulence—Fiction. 2. Ability—Fiction. 3. Middle schools—Fiction. 4. Schools—Fiction. 5. Janitors—Fiction. 6. Humorous stories.] I. Title.

  PZ7.1.P55Far 2015 2014029061

  [Fic]—dc23 CIP

  AC

  * * *

  15 16 17 18 19 CG/RRDH 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  FIRST EDITION

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